Category Archives for "Faith"

PL 002: Dating, Courting & Hooking Up!

 

Episode Title: PL 002: Dating, Courting & Hooking Up!PL Podcast Graphic

Show Topic: Courting, Dating and Hooking up

 

In Today’s episode, I’m going to cover:

  • The difference between Dating, Courting & Hooking Up

 

  • Which approach is the BEST for you personally

 

  • The BEST way to begin a new Relationship, whether dating or courting

 

Which approach is the BEST for you personally?

o   Begin with the end in Mind

o   What is your Goal in your Love Life?

o   What do your Spiritual beliefs have to say about the topic? Many of us don’t even allow this to factor into how we interact with men; then we feel badly when we fall into sexual sin.

o   What would you want for your precious daughter?

 

Show Notes:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dating

http://www.loveisrespect.org/dating-basics/what-is-dating

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtship

7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

www.SmartSEXYandSingleRetreat.com 

 

5 Tips to Overcome Loneliness & Beat the Blues During a Holiday (or Any Day)

The Holidays are here, and it’s a time of great cheer!

But, what if it really isn’t a very cheerful time for you? Whether it’s the festivities of Christmas & New Years Eve, the 4th of July when folks are grillin’ and chillin’, Thanksgiving when the tables are spread with yummy delights or any other special day, being single can be TOUGH.5 Ways to Stop Feeling Lonely on a Holiday- 4th of July

 

Holidays are supposed to be about Celebrating, FUN, Family, Friends, and of course Food! But, what if YOU are alone during the holiday, or any other day of the year for that matter? What do the lonely do during the festivities?

 

I’ve been there myself, and I can tell you that it SUCKS to feel lonely! It’s especially awful to feel lonely when you are not actually alone.

 

But, what I’ve learned is that EVERY cloud has a silver lining. And, even the painful moments in life can and DO give birth to the pleasantries of life. So, the key is to NOT allow these feelings to take you down, rather to use these feelings to guide you through to a better space and place. (They also serve to make the sweetness of love all the more sweet, when you do met your own Mr. Right.)

 

Here are 5 simple ways I’ve learned to beat the lonely blues:

1. Be Creative

Do you frequently find yourself “too busy” to do the things you enjoy the most? Sure, that’s true for many of us. Well, the silver lining to the cloud of being lonely, is that it gives you the space to catch up on your hobbies.

Creativity is such a powerful outlet! Use it to express your feelings, your aspirations, or anything you so desire. Some of the most beautiful and touching art was birthed out of emotional distress. Use your God-given creativity to express yourself.

 

2. Move & Get Active

This helps you to get out of your head (where you’re most likely to feel lonely). As you’re moving you may decide to exercise by doing Zumba, Yoga or a brisk walk/jog. Or, you can get a double impact by getting your movement while you do chores around the house.

Tip: Whatever form of activity and movement you chose, make sure that during it, you are in a CONSTANT state of Appreciation. Being able to move without assistance is a massive blessing on its own. Additionally, when we have laundry to clean and put away, that means we HAVE clothes, linens, AND a Home where they belong. Those are ALL Blessings.

 

3. Volunteer

It’s SO easy to have a pity party when you’re feeling lonely. But the truth is that there is someone else who’s challenges are harder than yours.

Giving of yourself to help your fellow human, yields rewards that are indescribable. Plus, as an added bonus, while you are volunteering, you just may meet your SoulMate! And that’s great, because you’ll know that he cares about helping others as much as you do. That’s a must have characteristic is a great husband.

 

4. Call or Vist an Elderly Relative or Community Member

If you’re feeling lonely, it’s likely others are too. In our culture, the elderly are often forgotten. You just may make someone’s day by remembering her with a phone call or a personal visit. In fact, after the visit, you’ll probably realize that SHE just made YOUR day.

 

5. Pray

Prayer is obviously the FIRST go-to solution for any problem or challenge that you face. When you pray that God ease your pain, and provide you with comfort, you are tapping into the Divine source of Healing and Love.

Many of us use prayer as a backup plan, when all else fails. I encourage you to turn to this “secret weapon” first. Then, do the other things I recommend. Before you know it, you’ll be feeling happy, content, and better off for the experience.

 

There are so many things that you can do when you’re feeling lonely. Your initial response may be to turn to a “comforting addiction,” such as watching TV, emotional eating, shopping, drinking alcohol or calling a “friend with benefits,” anything to distract yourself from the fact that you’re feeling this way.

 

Although these MAY offer a temporary balm for your ailment, they are NOT a cure for anything. In fact, as you already know, they can cause a whole new set of problems themselves. Plus, these “comforting addictions” CAN and WILL make you LESS attractive to your Mr. Right.

 

It’s better to do something that will enhance yourself and make you a MORE INTERESTING woman, than to do things that ADD baggage or create problems.

 

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“True Love is Seeking YOU… Just as You are Seeking True Love!”

But, do you know how to call it into your life with Grace & Dignity?

Or, will you Stay committed to the Habits & Practices that Keep it at Bay, and leave you Frustrated?

The Choice is ALWAYS YOURS.

What if I NEVER Meet “The One”?

What if I Never Meet The One_chairs-double

I’m sure this thought has entered your mind at some point. My guess is, that you also tried your best to shoo it away as quickly as possible. The truth is, this is a very painful and disappointing notion to consider. No one wants to go through life without experiencing the connection, passion, companionship and security that is birthed from a loving, romantic union.

Yet, far too many single women are either keeping busy by kissing frogs, or passively waiting for Prince Charming to come along, and rescue them from the dragons of life. (Dragons that you, my Love, are fully capable of slaying.) Often, important priorities are neglected in the interim.

I don’t believe in EVER giving up HOPE on a God-given dream. (Remember, God honored His Promise to Sarah AFTER she went through menopause). At the same time, a wise woman prepares herself for the future. That places you ahead of the curve, so you don’t wind up wanting to get married because you need your Husband to come clean up what you could have done yourself. In fact, if you haven’t focused on these areas of your own life, it can be a possible deterrent for your Mr. Right when you do meet.



So, as you proactively design your life to fully enjoy it during your current season, here are a few things to focus on now, before you meet “The One”:

Finances

Do you have a plan to accomplish your financial goals? Have you actually written out the steps you will take to expand your financial literacy, and evolve financially? If not, here are just a few of the aspects I recommend you include in your plan of action:

  1. Saving & Investing for Retirement (Do you know when you want to have the option to stop working? Are your choices today positioning you for the future you desire? )
  2. Giving Tithes & Offerings (Whether or not you accept this as a required Spiritual practice, it’s been proven repeatedly that this practice is highly effective and rewarding on multiple levels. )
  3. Investing in Your Personal Growth & Development (You can’t Reap what you don’t Sow. What are you sowing into yourself, in order to continue to evolve on a personal level? Baby Doll, free stuff will only take you so far.)
  4. Creating an intentional Spending Plan (You’re going to do something with your money. It’s best to make sure the way you allocate it is actually moving your forward, rather than backward.)
  5. Eliminating Debt (Your Student Loans will NEVER leave you, nor forsake you 😉 )

 

Spirituality

The ONE relationship you had before to entered this earthly World is the ONE relationship you’ll have when you leave it. Remember, you are NEVER alone when The Lord is by your side. Are you nurturing that relationship with your time, energy & attention? Or, are you neglecting it, in favor of an Entertainment addiction, a series of ungodly lifestyle choices or, the all too common assumption that you’ll spend some time with God and submit to His Will, TOMORROW. (Cue The Winans’ song 🙂 )

Not being equally yoked is one of the biggest challenges faced by married couples. I highly recommend doing as much “pre-work” on yourself as you can before you enter a relationship. An astounding number of marriages are entered into by two wounded people hoping that the marriage will heal them. They find themselves sorely disappointed when they realize that there is nothing “magical” about it, and that their wounds are still present. In fact, frequently they experience their spouse unconsciously “picking” at the wounds.

When you commit to your own Spiritual development and a Relationship with your Creator, you’ll find that your days are more Purpose-filled, and the long nights are less lonely. You’ll also start hearing the Guidance that just may place you on the path to meeting your Soul Mate after all. I’ve heard many couples sharing the story of how they met; my favorites are the ones where it’s obvious that God orchestrated their meeting. It makes the whole thing seem that much more special!

 

Legacy

We are all guaranteed to pass away and leave this Life behind. The question is, what will you leave behind when this happens?

Whether or not you ever get to experience giving birth to a child, you can absolutely sow into the lives of the children around you. Whether or not you ever get married (or re-married), you can do your best to cultivate & nurture the other relationships in your life (friendships, parents, siblings, community members). The legacy you leave behind is up to you. Good deeds that we perform during our lives, can continue to bless us after we pass.

An example that brought this home for me happened a couple of months ago. An extended family member lived alone, and passed away in his home. He was dead for WEEKS before anyone realized something was wrong, and went by his home to find his body. This was truly a very sad situation. The lesson I gleaned from it was that I want to live my life in a way that it’s noticed when I’m gone. It’s important to me that I do everything I can to leave this world a better place when I go Home, then it was when I got here. That’s a part of why I am devoted to helping women to experience Phenomenal LOVE and enjoy a Phenomenal Lifestyle™.

 

When you focus your efforts on these area’s of your life, then you’re on the right track, regardless of whether you EVER meet “The One.” Knowing that you are Maximizing your Life, by addressing the core areas leaves you feeling much more confident and certain about your future. And, Confidence softened with modesty is a highly Attractive trait! Increasing your Attraction Factor is key to enjoying the Love and Romance you desire.

 

If you liked this post, then “Like” it using the Facebook link below. Then, leave me a comment to tell me what you plan to do to maximize your life during your current season. I can’t wait to hear from you!

 

“True Love is Seeking YOU… Just as You are Seeking True Love!”

But, do you know how to call it into your life with Grace & Dignity?

Or, will you Stay committed to the Habits & Practices that Keep it at Bay, and leave you Frustrated?

The Choice is ALWAYS YOURS.

Optin Box 10

 

Is The Big “D” Controlling Your Love Life?

 

Most people don’t end up living their Plan A Life. They wind up settling for Plan B, C or frequently Plan F & below. There are many reasons, i.e. excuses that go into this unfortunate reality. But one of the most significant is the desire to avoid the big “D,” Disappointment.

God forbid we try something and it doesn’t work out the way we hoped it would. We could run the risk of being embarrassed, getting our feelings hurt or worse, having to modify our approach & try again. Oh, the HORROR!couple kissing-2

This same desire to avoid disappointment thwarts many a God-ordained relationship, before it can even start. Daily, I see women struggling in this area, and singing the blues. My advice on this topic is simple. 1) Pray, 2) Listen, 3) Trust, 4) Act.

Pray

Having God on your side is the best ally you could ever want. Connecting with Him daily through prayer and supplication is essential to ensuring that your relationship with Him is solid. It seems to me that praying for your future husband and marriage is also obvious. And, so is praying for discernment over who you should entertain during a Courtship. However, I’m constantly surprised at the number of women of faith who don’t do this. Skipping this crucial step is most certainly a recipe for disappointment, among other things.

 

Listen

After you pray for guidance and wisdom, you must listen to the direction that God is leading you. That means that you must have some space and silence in your life.

 

Trust

I’ve already discussed the problem that many single women have with trusting men, in other articles. Unfortunately, this problem with trusting also spills over to NOT Trusting God. And, second guessing yourself when you know that God is leading you to start or stop something in your life. After you pray and receive Guidance, you MUST TRUST and Obey.

 

Act

This is where you take action. Visit a different place of worship from your regular one. Wear some brighter, happier colors. Let the supportive people in your life know that you’re open to meeting new marriage-minded, single men. And, you’d appreciate introductions. Yes, I know this may require you moving out of your typical comfort zone. But, believe me when I say it WILL be worth it when you’re gazing into the eyes of your SoulMate.

If you’re ready to start experiencing Phenomenal LOVE in your life, join me for the SoulMate Attraction Factor 30 Day Coaching Club. In just 30 days, you could enjoy more Love and a Phenomenal Lifestyle. www.SoulMateAttractionFactor.com

 

If you liked this post, then please “Like” it, Share it with your friends, and Leave me a Comment to let me know what you thought!

 “True Love is Seeking YOU… Just as You are Seeking True Love!”

But, do you know how to call it into your life with Grace & Dignity?

Or, will you Stay committed to the Habits & Practices that Keep it at Bay, and leave you Frustrated?

The Choice is ALWAYS YOURS.

Optin Box 10

 

There Are No GOOD MEN Here! Maybe I Should Move!

 

I hear some version of this comment it seems like every week from single looking at mapwomen that are frustrated over their relationship prospects.

Heck, I remember thinking it a few times when I was single. But the truth is, that there ARE Good, Marriage-Minded, Men of God EVERYWHERE. So, before you load up the truck and move to Beverly, take a breath and read on.

Well, if they are everywhere, but you don’t seem to be meeting any of them, what’s a gal to do?

 

Here are 4 things to keep in mind as you traverse your way through your single season and prepare to be in the relationship of your dreams:

Timing is EVERYTHING

God told us that for everything there is a Season. He’s ALREADY chosen your SoulMate for you and determined when & WHERE you’ll meet. However, there is ALWAYS work to be done or an assignment to complete before we are permitted to walk into the next Season of our lives. Are you using this “meantime” space to prepare for the Season that you SAY you want to enter? If not, it’s time to get to work as you wait for God’s perfect timing! Everyone loves the Harvest season, but when it’s time to toil and labor as we sow our seeds into fertile ground, most of us are somewhere sitting under a tree complaining about the heat.

 

Are your eye’s really open

We all have a “List,” I had one too! But some of you have crafted a list from a place of fear and desiring to protect yourself from ANY potential hurt that could ever come your way. (That’s not even possible, to be quite honest.) When fear & mistrust is at the center of your efforts, you can believe that you won’t be able to see as clearly as you think you do. It’s VERY likely that you are screening out some amazing men, just because they aren’t taller than you, making 6 figures or may have lost some hair. Open your eyes today as you run your errands or go to the gym. There are men everywhere, and one of them could be the perfect fit for you.

 

Are you showing up in a way that your husband-to-be would find appealing?

Alright, so we just discussed your list. Well, guess what? Your husband-to-be has a list too! Would the type of man that you want to attract into your life be looking for a woman like you? If you aren’t sure, there’s your answer.

 

Opposites Attract

If you’re constantly in your Masculine Energy (which may be perfectly fine for work, it can help you to get the job done) but never allow your Feminine Energy to take center stage, it will be difficult to attract a man who wants a Feminine woman. Which by the way is almost ALL men.

Note: Don’t get confused on this one, you can be pretty and still have masculine energy. I’ve known a women for over 15 years that struggles with this one. She’s beautiful, fit, smart and wears stylish clothes. She has no problem getting men to approach her… initially. The problem is once you spend any time around her you can sense that her energy is very masculine & competitive. She’s yet to get married (something she desires) and doesn’t understand why.

 

If you know that one or more of these is an area that you could improve upon, if your dating or courting life is not what you desire, then I invite you to join me on Valentine’s Day weekend for a special workshop for Single Women. It’s called Kissing Frogs & Other Things That Chase Away Your SoulMate And Keep You Single.

 

If you liked this post, then please “Like” it, Share it with your friends, and Leave me a Comment to let me know what you thought!

“True Love is Seeking YOU… Just as You are Seeking True Love!”

But, do you know how to call it into your life with Grace & Dignity?

Or, will you Stay committed to the Habits & Practices that Keep it at Bay, and leave you Frustrated?

The Choice is ALWAYS YOURS.

Optin Box 10

 

Will You Walk By Faith Into Your Marriage

There are certain scriptures that I’ve heard so many times, they’ve become quite familiar. “I walk by faith and NOT by sight” is one of those scriptures. Today, I heard these words mentioned and they landed on me differently. I started to wonder about the word “walk.”

What Exactly Does That Word Mean?

Walking by Faith

So, I looked it up in a dictionary (actually 2 old school, low tech dictionaries, to be specific). What I found was interesting. Of course, they mentioned the typical definition of “to ADVANCE by using one’s feet.” But, they also included “a WAY OF BEING; Living.” I’m not sure I ever consciously considered this definition of the word “walk.”

It’s quite clear that these are both applicable for use in Actively Applying this verse to our lives. Advance by faith, not by sight. Be & Live by faith, not by sight. Both so completely powerful!

Are Your Eyes Deceiving You?

For the successful woman who’s so used to creating & implementing based on HER vision, it can be a test to walk when your path is only illuminated by the evidence of things hoped for, things NOT seen, i.e. Faith. But we must be aware that at times our eyes can deceive us. The things we “see” through the lens of faith are far more trustworthy than what we “see” with our physical eyes, IF we’re being led by God. Remember Prophet Noah?

Do you “see” a husband in your future? How about children? Even though there seem to be no prospects around? If God has made this your heart’s desire, then He can also allow it to happen for you. Marriage is a sacred gift that He has sent to be shared & enjoyed between Believing men & Believing women.

Don’t Let Doubt Creep In

Have you allowed your previous disappointments to cause you to doubt if this will really happen for you? To cause you to doubt if it CAN really happen? STOP IT! That’s being & living by Sight. Remember that faith is the evidence of things “unseen.” That means if you can see it with your physical eyes, you don’t need faith.

It’s Time To Exercise

Many of us need to exercise our faith muscles. That’s my coach’s request of you today. Identify an aspect of your Love Life where your faith needs strengthening. Then, focus on making it stronger. Being truly faithful feels quite vulnerable. And being vulnerable isn’t always easy. (In fact, sometimes it can be downright difficult, because it requires TRUST.) That’s right, the “T” word. Faith, Vulnerability, the “unseen,” it all comes down to whether or not we Trust God.

Will You Choose to Trust & Believe?

Do you trust God’s Timing, His Guidance, His Direction for your live? Do you trust HIM? You can’t have faith without Trust. These are essential in your spiritual walk & they’re essential in a healthy, lifelong marriage. While you’re waiting on your King, make sure you are cultivating the Queen in YOU. That’s how to create & enjoy a Phenomenal Lifestyle™!

If you’re looking for proven methods that can lead you to the Phenomenal LOVE and life-long marriage you desire, I invite you to check out my SoulMate Attraction Factor System. In 5 essential steps, I show you how to stop kissing frogs and start attracting your Mr. Right, while enjoying a Phenomenal Lifestyle™ in the meantime.

Did you like this article? Then make sure you “Like” it on Facebook, using the button below. And share it too, so others can benefit from the encouragement as well. 🙂

 

 

Whatever is Lovely Think About Those Things

 

Dear Phenomenal Woman,Whatever is Lovely

Sometimes God takes longer than you’d prefer to answer your prayers. During those “meantime moments,” it’s especially crucial for you to focus on what’s going right in your life.

With that said, please find encouragement in the following reminder:

“Sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.”

 

I Love You My Kingdom Sister!

Love & Blessings,

Wende

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