So many single women say they want to get married. But truthfully, many women are not at the point of being “marriage material” and believe me men can certainly tell. I’m committed to helping women to attract their SoulMate and experience the love of their life. So I’ve identified a few ways to tell if you’re wife material.
Lesson 1) As a single woman of faith, if you’re engaging in this juvenile behavior telling your friends, sisters or mom about every little aspect of your relationship, it’s time to grow up! You’re establishing a bad habit that can blow up in your face once you’re married. A good marriage is a safe haven for a husband and wife; it does not include an entourage for either of them. (Note: To be clear, I’m not saying to never reach out for help or advice about your relationship. I’m saying 1) be careful who you seek advice from and 2) with the exception of abuse, respect the privacy of your relationship. )
2) A good wife doesn’t do “hook ups,” friends with benefits, casual sex or booty calls.
Lesson 2) As a single woman of faith, if you’re participating in this type of behavior, hoping that it’ll turn into something more serious, you’re fooling yourself. Stop it! A smart man knows that you can’t turn a Ho into a Housewife. If you give it up easily, he may bed you, but he won’t wed you. If you don’t believe me, check your track record. You’re way too special to be compromising yourself and your values in order to feel wanted, or to not feel lonely. It’s time for you to become what I call “Sincerely Single.” Please remember that “He who finds a wife, finds a good thing!”
3) A smart wife does commit to her marriage and commits to herself to be the best partner, lover and friend she can be to her husband.
Lesson 3) As a single woman of faith, when is the last time you made and honored any type of long term commitment? One of the biggest threats to happy, lifelong marriages is a lack of commitment. So many brides and grooms stand at the alter or chupa or minbar and say “I do,” but what they mean is as long as it’s convenient, as long as it’s fun, as long as I get my way all the time. The “commitment” muscle is certainly one that can and should be exercised during your single season. A great place to begin is with your faith walk. Are you a “fair weather” Christian, Muslim, or Jew? Having a committed spiritual walk is one of the 9 Pillars of a Phenomenal Lifestyle™ and it will certainly benefit you during every season of your life. Whether we’re talking professional goals or personal goals, knowing the difference between being interested and being committed is critical. When you’re interested, you’re only in it as long as it’s fun, easy or convenient. When you’re committed, you’re still in it when it’s challenging, frustrating and inconvenient. Are you interested in passing the time with Mr. Right Now, or are you committed to preparing yourself for a LOVE worth waiting for and simultaneously establishing a foundation for a happy, life-long marriage?
4) A smart wife sees herself as a wife and realizes that she is to respect herself as such and to be respected as such.
Lesson 4) As a single woman of faith, it’s never too early to begin “seeing” yourself as a wife (and I do mean a wife, not a bride). We already know that without a vision people will perish, so now will always be the time to develop and nurture our vision. After developing this vision, begin respecting yourself, and carrying yourself as a wife and not a “friend,” girlfriend, or worse “someone to hang out with when he doesn’t have other plans & who doesn’t warrant a title.” (Hint: you’re in the last category if you only get asked out the day of or worse the night of, sorry Boo Boo but it’s the Truth. Even the busiest of Executives can make plans in advance if you are a priority for him. If this is your situation, please refer to the LOVE Rules Poster that is included for FREE in the SoulMate Attraction Kit).
5) A smart wife realizes that being part of a healthy, loving relationship is about being an interdependent woman, not being a card carrying member of the independent woman club (aka the secretly lonely- cries in the dark- privately worries she’ll never get married- while publicly pretending to have it all together- and “not need a man”- all while on her way to becoming bitter woman’s club).
Lesson 5) As a single woman of faith, who desires to be a married woman of faith it’s essential that you have a healthy, scripturally based understanding of what the male/female, husband/wife dynamic is to be. In the absence of that, you’ll be left with the “worlds” opinion. God has told us that husbands and wives are to be garments for one another, this denotes interdependence. The Bible says for husbands to “leave and cleave,” that’s interdependence. If you’re self-identifying as an “Independent Woman” you may have discovered one of the factors that’s keeping you alone. According to the Thesaurus, independent means detached, separate, individual and unconnected. These are not words that denote couple hood or partnership. If you’re already married and doing these things, it’s likely keeping your marriage from becoming all that it can be.
Marriage has the potential to be such an amazing, wonderful experience when entered into by two people that God has chosen for one another. It also has the potential to feel like hell on earth when it’s between two people that aren’t ready and who God didn’t choose for one another. As you pray for your future husband and marriage, make sure that you’re truly marriage material. That way when your hubby comes along, you’ll be ready for him.