First Lady Michelle Obama

I believe that success leaves clues. With that in mind, I study as many people as possible that have attained the type of “whole life’” success to which I aspire. That’s why I’m including the Celebrity Spotlight Feature in Phenomenal Life and Career Newsletter. It’s my extreme honor to feature our country’s First Lady as the first celebrity to be profiled.

Over the last several years I’ve had the pleasure of learning about the Phenomenal Woman that is First Lady Michelle Obama. During that time, I’ve adopted her as one of my mentors and role models. I aspire to be as gracious, stylish and confident as she appears to be.

In my opinion, Mrs. Obama is living proof that yes we can have it all, love, family, career, happiness and fulfillment if we are willing to work at it. Here are just 3 of the secrets to success I’ve learned from her:

1. Choose your priorities and let them shape your life.

“And in my own life, in my own small way, I’ve tried to give back to this country that has given me so much. That’s why I left a job at a law firm for a career in public service, working to empower young people to volunteer in their communities. Because I believe that each of us–no matter what our age or background or walk of life–each of us has something to contribute to the life of this nation.”

2. Being classy and intelligent are always fashionable and never go out of style.

“One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals. And so when I hear about negative and false attacks, I really don’t invest any energy in them, because I know who I am.”

3. Self-care is not selfish, it’s smart; because, it refuels you so you can continue to give to others.

“I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband, and my physical health. That’s hard for women to own; we’re not taught to do that. It’s a lesson that I want to teach my girls so they don’t wait for their “aha” moment until they’re in their 30s like I was (laughs). Maybe they can experience it a little earlier.”

My challenge to you is to take an assessment of your own life and career choices. Do they truly reflect who you are and your current priorities? Or are they more like some random mix of outcomes created by default? Let’s take a cue from Mrs. Obama, and be more intentional about how we design our lives. Many women spend more time designing their outfits than they do on designing their lives. Please don’t be one of them.

Whether you love her or love to hate her, Angelina Jolie is definitely a powerful force. She’s a devoted mom, a committed humanitarian, and a highly sought after and talented actress; how’s that for a triple threat. Despite the tabloid’s obsession with her and the twists & turns in her life, she remains steadfast in her determination to be herself, for better or for worse. I’d love to share with you the lessons I’ve learned from Angelina over the years.

“I think all women go through periods where we hate this about ourselves, we don’t like that. It’s great to get to a place where you dismiss anything you’re worried about. I find flaws attractive. I find scars attractive.”

- Angelina Jolie

What does it say about us when we live in a society where most women can find some aspect of themselves (physical or otherwise) that they dislike? Even many women who have been voted The Most Beautiful Woman in the World, like Angelina, battle insecurities and feelings of being undesirable. It’s definitely time for us to acknowledge that we were indeed miraculously and wonderfully made. I agree with Ms. Jolie that the so called flaws that we possess can be quite beautiful. I’m reminded of one of my favorite lyrics from an old song called Lady, from The Whispers. The lyric says “Your body’s designed by the wisdom of time. And, I couldn’t live without you, without losing my mind.” I love this line because I think it perfectly describes the unique beauty of women. I think of it when I see the alterations to my body after carrying my beloved daughter. Then, I say to myself “Girl you still look good! These changes are beautiful, they were designed by the wisdom of time!”

“If you ask people what they’ve always wanted to do, most people haven’t done it. That breaks my heart.”

- Angelina Jolie

This is a sad but true epidemic, even in the age of the “bucket list.” But, I am committed to do my part to help change it. That’s why I focus on helping women create the lifestyle they thought was out of reach. I know that so many women are tired of pretending to have it all together, when in actuality, they are not living the life they wanted, in the career they wanted or in the relationship they wanted. The lesson I take from Angelina here is that I have the right and the responsibility to pursue the life I want for myself and my family.

“I’m happy being myself, which I’ve never been before. I always hid in other people, or tried to find myself through the characters, or live out their lives, but I didn’t have those things in mine.”

- Angelina Jolie

Getting to the point of being genuinely happy being yourself is one of the most important goals of personal growth and development. For most of us, this is an ongoing journey that parallels our lives; just when we think we’ve arrived, BAM something happens that requires us to regroup and start over again. The goal is the dust yourself off and get to that place again and again until we are there more often than not.

My challenge to you is to take some private time alone and look at yourself in your natural state, that’s right in your birthday suit. See the beauty in your “flaws” and the sexiness that comes from having a body that’s designed by the wisdom of time. Then, think of 3 of the things you really want to do with your life, relationships, career, home or another area. Write them down, and create an outline to get them started. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just get started. Finally, ask yourself if you are in a place where you’re happy being you (the real you, not someone you pretend to be so that other people will like you). If we take a lesson from Angelina Jolie in these areas, we’ll be on our way to being powerful forces too!